December 31st 2010,

Gosh! ga tau deh udah berapa sering gw mengucap kata2 ini, but really.. TIME FLIES!
ga kerasa, udah saatnya berubah tahun lagi.. menghadapi kenyataan2 baru lagi..
kata kuncinya ada empat, "berubah", "baru", "lagi" dan "hadapi"
things changed, people changed, and even life is never flat, just deal with it!

biasanya, trending topic pas mau taun baru adalah "New Year Resolution"
well, mari ikut saya me-review resolusi taun baru 2010 saya..
bagi yg ngerasa ga mau, ya ora opo2.. mangga atuh di-close aja..

-------------------------------------------FLASH BACK-------------------------------------------
here's come 2010's resolutions:
1. flat stomach (emm, biarlah ini menjadi rahasia saya..)
2. wisuda (akhirnya!!!! JULI saya WISUDAAA!!!)
3. pay fasting debt on the same year.. (Alhamdulillah.. bisa)
4. pergi ke wonder by wonder gw.... (emm, ada tempat yg udah dan inshaAllah akan saya datangi.. just wait for the next posting ^_*)
5. HARUS bisa nyetir... (ntah smpe kapan resolusi ini akan tetap ada -__-")
6. belajar bahasa baru... (emm, aga ketunda krn blm nemuin waktu yg pas.. *ngeles*)
7. jade and ataris punya anak... (ini juga belum.. bingung -__-?)
8. tetep punya kerja, pas ntar kontrak abis... (Alhamdulillah, masih kerja di tempat yg sama seperti setahun yang lalu.. ^_^)
9. memperkaya otak dengan beli minimum 1 buku per bulan... (untuk yg ini, gw nemu cara iritnya.. drpd beli, minjem aja.. *ayeeeyy* ~(^0^)~)
10. aku senang, kamu senang, dia senang, semua senang.... (well, diz one IDK.. inshaAllah aja)

so itu dia resolusi taun 2010 saya, dan komentar2 saya di hari terakhir tahun 2010 ini..

tp ntah kenapa, gw ga minat buat bikin resolusi tahun ini..
bukan krn ga ada yg gw mau.. tp malah krn i want soooo many things, i cant even set my priorities.. ~_~

gw cuma mau untuk diri gw sendiri inget hal2 di bawah ini untuk menghadapi tahun yg baru dgn semua "kejutan2nya":
1. semua tindakan, pasti ada penjelasannya.. either my explanation or urs.. but it will be great if it can be ours..
2. ga ada masalah yg besar, adanya cuma masalah yg di besar2in.. jadi, semua hal bisa di omongin.. yes, S.E.M.U.A.. *selama sikon-nya pas* =P

dan ini, petikan dr lirik happy by natasha bedingfield..

Got my dreams, got my life, got my love
Got my friends got the sunshine above
Why am I making this hard on myself
When there’s so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy

I NEED & WANT TO BE HAPPY.. SO DO YOU, DEAR YOU...
=)

happy new year..


http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/natashabedingfield/happy.html

December 22nd 2010.

tanggal ini adalah tanggal bt Hari Ibu di Indonesia..
almost in every social networking that i have, the status is about this day..

IMO, hari ibu harus lebih di-rayakan ketimbang hari valentine atau hari2 lain..
dan walaupun sejarah dr hari ibu aga sedikit berbeda dgn apa yg ada di pikiran orang banyak, menurut gw sah2 aja kl kita mau ngerayain dgn memanjakan ibu kita lebih spesial di banding hari2 yg lain..

sejarah tentang hari ibu mengingatkan kita, bahwa perempuan itu juga kuat..
talking about my mom..
she is on top of my list for strong women in my life..
i never imagine myself in her position..

after my dad passed away in 2001, she needs to stand on her own..
its true that i have my sister & brothers,
and im very grateful for their existence, but they will never be my parent..

being a single fighter, single parent never be easy..
to fulfill all family's need, to be patient with different characteristics of the children, to handle everything almost on her own..

it tooks me quite long to see this.. *sadly*

i was young when daddy's gone..
maybe thats my justification..

kalo di inget lagi..
entah udah sesering apa gw sm nyokap salah faham dalam urusan apapun..
dulu ngerasanya,
she never understands me..
sekarang,
im the one who never tried to understand her..
=(

as time goes by..
i really hope that we are changing to be a better person every single day..
dan sebanyak apapun yg adjeng kasih ke mama..
adjeng tau, itu ga akan pernah cukup untuk membalas 1 moment di hidup aku..
the day when i was born..
you put your life in danger, to let me breath in this world..

oh mom..
if only wishing you a happy mother's day is as easy as making you happy...
but i know its still a long journey for me...
i pray strongly, happiness is on your way..

happy mother's day..
u rocks!

with love,
ur daughter.



http://lirik.kapanlagi.com/artis/melly_goeslaw/bunda

December 10th 2010

beberapa bulan belakangan ini, pas lg ngumpul sm konco2 kadang topik pembicaraan kita jadi agak sedikit berat..

dan biasanya kl udah gt, gw lgsg mikir..
man, i never think i will talk this 'heavy' things a.k.a dramas in life..

dan gw bakal bilang,
"kangen ga sih pas sekolah dulu? all we think about is only today's happening."
PR hari ini, ulangan hari ini, mau pergi kemana hari ini, siapa cowo ganteng hari ini, mau makan apa di kantin hari ini.. all about TODAY!
boro2 mikirin masa lalu atau masa depan sekalipun. masa lalu, jelas2 gw jarang bgt mikirin. dan masa depan disini paling cuma PR atau ulangan bt bsk. =P

dan ya, biasanya habis itu gw ngerasa..
wow, im an adult now..
no longer the lil' girl who just listen and absorb what people thinks.

NOW i have my own things going on my mind.
NOW i picked the things that i want to absorb.
NOW i deal with my own feelings.

NOW I AM A GROWN UP LADY.

tanpa gw sadari, i've changed.
life forces me to change with its own way.

walaupun kadang kangen untuk kembali menjadi remaja, saat sedang stress menjadi dewasa..
walaupun kadang kangen untuk kembali menjadi anak kecil, saat tangisan harus tertahan krn hal sentimentil & prinsipil..
im trying to enjoy where i stand right now..
MAJORITY.

orang yg mikirin tentang pernikahan krn umur & teman sudah mulai mengarah ke situ..
orang yg mikirin tentang pending-an kerjaan yg masih hrs di follow-up keesokan harinya..
orang yg mikirin tentang gaji bulan ini di alokasikan untuk ini & itu..

next year, umur gw bakal jd 1/4 abad..
*damn! time flies..*

dgn umur segitu, gw cukup yakin udah banyak rasa yg gw kecap..
dr ilmu.. teori di sekolah & praktek di lapangan kerja yg ternyata lumayan berbeda..
dr percintaan.. tawa & sakit hatinya..
dr pertemanan.. u know who ur friends are, when u know they still care even they arent there beside u..

makasih bt guru2 di sekolah & kuliah, yg ga cuma mengajar tp jg mendidik saya dgn cara beliau masing2..

makasih bt temen2 gw, dr yg mungkin skrg gw cuma inget nama / mukanya aja sampe yg masih bertahan temenan sm gw smpe skrg..

makasih bt kisah cinta gw, yg mampu mengaktifkan rasa yg katanya cinta & me-non-aktifkan hati tempat menyimpan rasa *edisi curcol* ^_*

makasih bt keluarga, yg kadang suka ga ngerti jalan pikiran masing2 tapi selalu berusaha untuk tetap bersatu..

makasih bt Tuhan, yang sudah kasih saya waktu untuk merasakan semua ini..

u know, when u face something thats so hard to deal with
when people around you telling you to move on
its ok not to do so if you think you aint ready

"because when you re not moving forward
it doesnt means you are moving backward
it just means, you re staying still"

staying still to know urself better to make better move
staying still to take notes about all the lessons
staying still to observe about other people
staying still until you know, now it is the time for you to moving on

there is no use to forcing on something that are not meant to be yet
everyone & everything have their own place and time

like my friend says,
"lompatan saya mungkin tidak jauh, tapi saya tidak pernah berjalan mundur"

cheers.
=)

http://www.songlyrics.com/blackmore-s-night/far-far-away-lyrics/

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.


His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.


The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.


The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.

When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say "I'm sorry", the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed.


They make you smile and encourage you to succeed,
They lend an ear,
they share words of praise,
and they always want to open their hearts to us.

------------------------------------ ♥ ♥ --------------------------------------------

My friend send me this email long time ago, and its stuck in my draft..
now i just want to share it back..
because, it is true that nobody can slide a knife between ribs quite like the people who love us..

"so please forgive me, if i have ever left holes..
and thank you for being good friends of mine.."


the soundrack is from FRIENDS the famous TV show..
http://www.elyrics.net/read/r/rembrandts-lyrics/i_ll-be-there-for-you-lyrics.html