December 31st 2010,

Gosh! ga tau deh udah berapa sering gw mengucap kata2 ini, but really.. TIME FLIES!
ga kerasa, udah saatnya berubah tahun lagi.. menghadapi kenyataan2 baru lagi..
kata kuncinya ada empat, "berubah", "baru", "lagi" dan "hadapi"
things changed, people changed, and even life is never flat, just deal with it!

biasanya, trending topic pas mau taun baru adalah "New Year Resolution"
well, mari ikut saya me-review resolusi taun baru 2010 saya..
bagi yg ngerasa ga mau, ya ora opo2.. mangga atuh di-close aja..

-------------------------------------------FLASH BACK-------------------------------------------
here's come 2010's resolutions:
1. flat stomach (emm, biarlah ini menjadi rahasia saya..)
2. wisuda (akhirnya!!!! JULI saya WISUDAAA!!!)
3. pay fasting debt on the same year.. (Alhamdulillah.. bisa)
4. pergi ke wonder by wonder gw.... (emm, ada tempat yg udah dan inshaAllah akan saya datangi.. just wait for the next posting ^_*)
5. HARUS bisa nyetir... (ntah smpe kapan resolusi ini akan tetap ada -__-")
6. belajar bahasa baru... (emm, aga ketunda krn blm nemuin waktu yg pas.. *ngeles*)
7. jade and ataris punya anak... (ini juga belum.. bingung -__-?)
8. tetep punya kerja, pas ntar kontrak abis... (Alhamdulillah, masih kerja di tempat yg sama seperti setahun yang lalu.. ^_^)
9. memperkaya otak dengan beli minimum 1 buku per bulan... (untuk yg ini, gw nemu cara iritnya.. drpd beli, minjem aja.. *ayeeeyy* ~(^0^)~)
10. aku senang, kamu senang, dia senang, semua senang.... (well, diz one IDK.. inshaAllah aja)

so itu dia resolusi taun 2010 saya, dan komentar2 saya di hari terakhir tahun 2010 ini..

tp ntah kenapa, gw ga minat buat bikin resolusi tahun ini..
bukan krn ga ada yg gw mau.. tp malah krn i want soooo many things, i cant even set my priorities.. ~_~

gw cuma mau untuk diri gw sendiri inget hal2 di bawah ini untuk menghadapi tahun yg baru dgn semua "kejutan2nya":
1. semua tindakan, pasti ada penjelasannya.. either my explanation or urs.. but it will be great if it can be ours..
2. ga ada masalah yg besar, adanya cuma masalah yg di besar2in.. jadi, semua hal bisa di omongin.. yes, S.E.M.U.A.. *selama sikon-nya pas* =P

dan ini, petikan dr lirik happy by natasha bedingfield..

Got my dreams, got my life, got my love
Got my friends got the sunshine above
Why am I making this hard on myself
When there’s so many beautiful reasons I have to be happy

I NEED & WANT TO BE HAPPY.. SO DO YOU, DEAR YOU...
=)

happy new year..


http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/natashabedingfield/happy.html

December 22nd 2010.

tanggal ini adalah tanggal bt Hari Ibu di Indonesia..
almost in every social networking that i have, the status is about this day..

IMO, hari ibu harus lebih di-rayakan ketimbang hari valentine atau hari2 lain..
dan walaupun sejarah dr hari ibu aga sedikit berbeda dgn apa yg ada di pikiran orang banyak, menurut gw sah2 aja kl kita mau ngerayain dgn memanjakan ibu kita lebih spesial di banding hari2 yg lain..

sejarah tentang hari ibu mengingatkan kita, bahwa perempuan itu juga kuat..
talking about my mom..
she is on top of my list for strong women in my life..
i never imagine myself in her position..

after my dad passed away in 2001, she needs to stand on her own..
its true that i have my sister & brothers,
and im very grateful for their existence, but they will never be my parent..

being a single fighter, single parent never be easy..
to fulfill all family's need, to be patient with different characteristics of the children, to handle everything almost on her own..

it tooks me quite long to see this.. *sadly*

i was young when daddy's gone..
maybe thats my justification..

kalo di inget lagi..
entah udah sesering apa gw sm nyokap salah faham dalam urusan apapun..
dulu ngerasanya,
she never understands me..
sekarang,
im the one who never tried to understand her..
=(

as time goes by..
i really hope that we are changing to be a better person every single day..
dan sebanyak apapun yg adjeng kasih ke mama..
adjeng tau, itu ga akan pernah cukup untuk membalas 1 moment di hidup aku..
the day when i was born..
you put your life in danger, to let me breath in this world..

oh mom..
if only wishing you a happy mother's day is as easy as making you happy...
but i know its still a long journey for me...
i pray strongly, happiness is on your way..

happy mother's day..
u rocks!

with love,
ur daughter.



http://lirik.kapanlagi.com/artis/melly_goeslaw/bunda

December 10th 2010

beberapa bulan belakangan ini, pas lg ngumpul sm konco2 kadang topik pembicaraan kita jadi agak sedikit berat..

dan biasanya kl udah gt, gw lgsg mikir..
man, i never think i will talk this 'heavy' things a.k.a dramas in life..

dan gw bakal bilang,
"kangen ga sih pas sekolah dulu? all we think about is only today's happening."
PR hari ini, ulangan hari ini, mau pergi kemana hari ini, siapa cowo ganteng hari ini, mau makan apa di kantin hari ini.. all about TODAY!
boro2 mikirin masa lalu atau masa depan sekalipun. masa lalu, jelas2 gw jarang bgt mikirin. dan masa depan disini paling cuma PR atau ulangan bt bsk. =P

dan ya, biasanya habis itu gw ngerasa..
wow, im an adult now..
no longer the lil' girl who just listen and absorb what people thinks.

NOW i have my own things going on my mind.
NOW i picked the things that i want to absorb.
NOW i deal with my own feelings.

NOW I AM A GROWN UP LADY.

tanpa gw sadari, i've changed.
life forces me to change with its own way.

walaupun kadang kangen untuk kembali menjadi remaja, saat sedang stress menjadi dewasa..
walaupun kadang kangen untuk kembali menjadi anak kecil, saat tangisan harus tertahan krn hal sentimentil & prinsipil..
im trying to enjoy where i stand right now..
MAJORITY.

orang yg mikirin tentang pernikahan krn umur & teman sudah mulai mengarah ke situ..
orang yg mikirin tentang pending-an kerjaan yg masih hrs di follow-up keesokan harinya..
orang yg mikirin tentang gaji bulan ini di alokasikan untuk ini & itu..

next year, umur gw bakal jd 1/4 abad..
*damn! time flies..*

dgn umur segitu, gw cukup yakin udah banyak rasa yg gw kecap..
dr ilmu.. teori di sekolah & praktek di lapangan kerja yg ternyata lumayan berbeda..
dr percintaan.. tawa & sakit hatinya..
dr pertemanan.. u know who ur friends are, when u know they still care even they arent there beside u..

makasih bt guru2 di sekolah & kuliah, yg ga cuma mengajar tp jg mendidik saya dgn cara beliau masing2..

makasih bt temen2 gw, dr yg mungkin skrg gw cuma inget nama / mukanya aja sampe yg masih bertahan temenan sm gw smpe skrg..

makasih bt kisah cinta gw, yg mampu mengaktifkan rasa yg katanya cinta & me-non-aktifkan hati tempat menyimpan rasa *edisi curcol* ^_*

makasih bt keluarga, yg kadang suka ga ngerti jalan pikiran masing2 tapi selalu berusaha untuk tetap bersatu..

makasih bt Tuhan, yang sudah kasih saya waktu untuk merasakan semua ini..

u know, when u face something thats so hard to deal with
when people around you telling you to move on
its ok not to do so if you think you aint ready

"because when you re not moving forward
it doesnt means you are moving backward
it just means, you re staying still"

staying still to know urself better to make better move
staying still to take notes about all the lessons
staying still to observe about other people
staying still until you know, now it is the time for you to moving on

there is no use to forcing on something that are not meant to be yet
everyone & everything have their own place and time

like my friend says,
"lompatan saya mungkin tidak jauh, tapi saya tidak pernah berjalan mundur"

cheers.
=)

http://www.songlyrics.com/blackmore-s-night/far-far-away-lyrics/

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper.


His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.


The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.


The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same.

When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you say "I'm sorry", the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Friends are very rare jewels, indeed.


They make you smile and encourage you to succeed,
They lend an ear,
they share words of praise,
and they always want to open their hearts to us.

------------------------------------ ♥ ♥ --------------------------------------------

My friend send me this email long time ago, and its stuck in my draft..
now i just want to share it back..
because, it is true that nobody can slide a knife between ribs quite like the people who love us..

"so please forgive me, if i have ever left holes..
and thank you for being good friends of mine.."


the soundrack is from FRIENDS the famous TV show..
http://www.elyrics.net/read/r/rembrandts-lyrics/i_ll-be-there-for-you-lyrics.html

2 weeks ago, i had this fun saturday night with the girls.. A.K.A "The Sisters"

and that saturday night started when we have appointment to have early dinner with this 1 guy.. which ended up..
we finally had dinner, but just the 3 of us.. since the guy need to be on the other place of the earth.. ga ada komentar apa2 selain, LELAKI
-__-"
hahahaha.. just kidding..

tapi bersyukur juga akhirnya SEMPET ketemuan.. setelah pergulatan yg cukup panjang dan melelahkan untuk menyamakan schedule kami ber-4, akhirnya di saat kami mulai pasrah.. eh, malah di kasih kesempatan sama Allah bt ketemu..

God works with God's way..

walaupun ada insiden si kedua hampir nyasar naik busway, si lelaki ga tau jalan mau jemput gw dmn, dan si bungsu ketiduran di bis..
akhirnya kita ketemu juga..

setelah muter2 gedung yang sama sebanyak 5 putaran bt cari parkir, dan *kembali* pasrah.. eh, malah dpt parkir...

its no coincidence, im sure..

jadilah kami ber-4 ketemu.. pertemuan yg termasuk kilat, ketemu -> ngobrol sambil jalan -> foto2
its only less than half hour..
padahal ngerencanain nya udah lebih dr sebulan..
(_ _!)
dan krn si lelaki harus pergi ke nikahan *lagi* dan siap2 bt dinas bsknya ke luar kota.. dia terpaksa pergi.. dan cerita ini akan di lanjutkan tanpa kehadirannya.. *halah*

akhirnya, kita mutusin makan di resto favorit kita yang ternyataaa....
*closed due renovation* WTF!! im starving!!
dgn muka pucat & perut rame krn cacing2 di dlmnya sudah memulai konser, jadilah kita pergi ke TKP berikutnya bt mencari resto itu..
setelah makan.. hem.. the night is still young.. jadilah kami memutuskan ke karaoke..
sebetulnya, nothing special sih.. ngumpul2, makan, trs karaokean..
tapi.. *heres come the but*
tapi, kita adalah orang yg ga pernah nyanyi kl lg ikut karaokean..
*nyanyi dlm hati itu udah maksimal bgt*
tp malam itu... we had sooo much joy, sooo much fun...
dan setiap lagu yg kita nyanyiin, we dedicated that song for someone..
*bagian ini yg bikin nyanyi-nya benar2 di hayati*

dari cinta 1 malam, smpe perahu layar..
dan di tutup dgn manis, pake lagu season in the sun...
yang ga lain dan ga bukan adalah lagu dari kita, oleh kita, dan untuk kita...

another great night in my life..
thanks sist...
♥ pelukecups ♥







http://www.lyricsfreak.com/w/westlife/season+in+the+sun_20145956.html

to be honest, im in the middle of such a big dilemma..

i need to choose between my head or my heart, since those things are not in the same page for this matter rite now..

my question to myself will be:
do i want to be a head without a heart, or vice versa?

its easy to say, why dont u have both?
the problem is, i can't.

my heart said, "it feels so good when we start out.."
my head said, "get a grip girl!! unless u're dying to cry ur heart out.."

then, its not helping at all when i read about my horoscope from yahoo site.
"Up and down, back and forth, just like a roller coaster. That's what your head and heart will go through today, as your mood swings this way and that."

see, im stuck between the head and the heart.. my head and my heart...

in my past, i surely will follow what my heart said..
but turns out, it can be a big dissapointment..
and when it does, my heart just gonna cry.. and my head will take control to heal it.. with a sentence "told you!"

i dont know.. i dont think im ready to face chances of being hurt or any other consequences..
i cant afford it.. not yet.. not with ur attitude...

sometimes, this uncertainty is killing me..
and i think, i just reached my boiling point..

but still, if only...

http://liriklaguindonesia.net/a/armada-band/armada-mau-dibawa-kemana/

talking about me..
im a lady who always think that there is always an explanation about everything..

and just few weeks ago, i found a good explanation about something..

in indonesia, when people cheated. they usually called it "bermain dengan api" or "playing with fire"

i always wondering, why they called it that way.. until that day, i had my fire training..

the trainer explain about fire, how to extinguish, etc.. but there were 2 slides, that made me like... "ahaaa.. this is the answer for what i've been questioning all this time"
here's the screenshot:



in the slide, she told me that fire is trigger by 3 elements.. heat, oxygen, and fuel..
same with cheating.. its usually involve 3 parties. urself, ur partner, and the other partner..
everything will be under control, if you only have urself and ur partner.. but once, there is someone else join the cycle... life will get pretty hot..
picture urself as the oxygen.. ur partner as the heat.. and the other one as the fuel..

as an oxygen, u are neutral.. there always be 'heat' in any relationship.. which, oxygen can still handle it.. but when the 'fuel' come.. its like 2 vs 1.. the oxygen gonna lose.. urself gonna lose...

if someone think, that in a relationship when 1 of the person cheated.. the one who get hurt so bad will be the not-cheated party.. well, IMO its not totally right.. because theres still a possibility, that the one who cheated is the one who got hurt so bad..

its like, u are in a position when u love at least 2 different person at one time and u just cant decide *yet* with who u really want to spend rest of ur life with...
and at the same time, u also know.. by doing that, u hurt those people that u love.. u hurt urself..

this is only apply for the condition when u really feel u are in love with the other partner. not the 'playboy or playgirl' situation..

as its stated on the slide, the way to extinguish the fire is by removing 1 of the element..
again, IMO.. the one who should be remove.. is urself, the oxygen..
because ur existing, there are the heat & the fuel..
so, its u oxygen.. the element that needs to be removed...

this is a picture of me, try to extinguish the fire..


by thinking this, i got an explanation why cheating is A.K.A playing with fire...
well, *again* IMO when it comes to relationship.. just avoid the word "play".. no matter it is with fire or something else..
because feeling.. is not something you should play around with..

this song got video clip with the fire fighter.. i think kinda suitable for the topic..
http://www.elyrics.net/read/j/jewel-lyrics/intuition-lyrics.html

lets discuss about zodiac..

as a normal girl, its the MUST read section in magazines..

but sometimes.. im a lil' bit confuse..

these are the reasons..
1. sebagai orang yg lahir tgl 22 september, kadang gw masuk bintang virgo tapi kadang gw msk ke libra..
yup, tanggal lahir gw merupakan batas antara virgo dan libra..

2. untuk pembawaan karakter sendiri..
heemmm... it will be a big lie, kalo gw bilang gw feminim.. boleh jadi rambut gw panjang tergerai dan kadang2 terlihat memakai rok..
tapi.. gw kl ngomong nyablak, aga2 suka melakukan kekerasan juga, dan sifat2 sikap2 lain yang jaaauuuhhh bgt dr feminim..
padahal, virgo kan lambangnya wanita anggun gmn gitu..

nah kl karakter libra...
hemm.. lambangnya timbangan, jadi..
bisa dibilang, orangnya bakal banyak pertimbangan..
nah, yg ini malah rada2 gw banget...
gw tuh kadang kelamaan & kebanyakan mikir..
sampe2 ada yg bilang "u're thinking too much"
=(

well, anyway..
gw cuma mau berbagi cerita aja..
bukan topik berat untuk di baca.. dan tumben2an ga ada topik cinta2an juga..
=P

jadi.. apa bintangmu??

http://sejuta-mp3.com/h/heydi-diana/heidy-diana-bintangku-bintangmu/

uuu.. dont assume anything about the title..
its a title from a book actually. IMO, this book is too good to be true..

tadinya buku ini ya cuma sekedar 'buku' aja bt gw..
sampe ada bagian di buku ini, dimana terdapat kalimat
"i will never forget the day when we fell in love"

its making me turn-on the "flash back" mode...
i strongly believe, that i did fall in love in my past..
(no need to know how many time ya..) ^_*

dan..
i cant remember!!
*blank*
*panic*
how come i cant remember the day when i fell in love??!!!

i remember the person of course..
but until i type this blog, i still cant remember the day.. not just the day, even the moment that trigger the "i love u" words to came out..
crap!!

is it because, maybe.. i never did?

is it good or bad, to forget about something that we might had??

then, when i continue to read the book (and still trying hard to remember this thing)..
i found the answer..

MY answer actually..
and the answer is,
i dont remember when i fell in love with u, all i can remember is i do love u..

"i just love u"

and thats about it...

i dont love anyone because they loves me back..
i dont love anyone because they able to give me this and give me that..
i dont love anyone because he is physically attractive hot looking guy..

i do love someone because i just do..
no reason, no explanation, no justification..

nothing, but this feeling inside..

so...

have you ever been in love??

http://www.lyrics007.com/Celine%20Dion%20Lyrics/Have%20You%20Ever%20Been%20In%20Love%20Lyrics.html

yup, thats the new nickname for u..

wonder what are u doing rite now..
is it only me whos waiting to see u online??

i know its kinda strange, how this feeling came..
but the strangest thing is.. how its grow so fast to be this strong..

i dont give a damn what people thinking..
i just starting to like u..
and maybe like we both said.. its only temporary feeling..

but stupid me!
i think im to excited to finally felt this kinda feeling again..

pretty much u know about my past.. about "those matters"
i got a lil' bit traumatic.. emm.. ok a lil' big traumatic maybe more correct.. =P

but suddenly u came, and suddenly this thing called "chemistry" came out of nowhere..
its funny, its shocking and sadly.. its sad also..
because somehow..
"i still feel it"

well, my fault i know to brought up this issue so fast..
when we said we want to take things slowly..

oh God.. i cant imagine my face if we meet..
i think it will be like a boiled crab!!
*LOL

but hey, i thank u for ur present in my life..
i know its kinda short notice for u to come & go..

but at least, u made me realize that im not numb..
and this feeling is not dumb..

one more important thing, please do like urself..
ure a good man..
*trust me*

hemm.. thinking hard what song should i give for this blog...
and i still dunno the right song..
=(

maybe if somehow u read this blog, u can help find a good song for it..


last but not least..

ttyl :)


*nb
i think i found a good song..
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/jamesmorrison/yougivemesomething.html

what do u think??

Dear friends,

On July 3rd 2010, we had our convo..
ready or not.. it will take us to different level of life..
for me personally, i have no reason to go back to Malaysia anymore..
sad, im fallin love with the country already..
but it was u guys that made my days..

some of u might know, that i hate the word "goodbye",
so i will just say "Hasta Manana"

Hasta manana tiqa..
i really have lot of things to say bout u.. but i will make this page full if im doin it.. so i just wanna say.. "Thank you".. thanks for everything, thanks for being normal when im not, thanks for being so understanding when i choose the "not so good" way, thanks for not judging me for it.. thanks darling.. hope that i can be a good friend for u too.. *smooch*

Hasta manana booby..
hem, u.. what can i say.. u made my life like a roller coaster.. the one who convinced me to study in Binary (damn to ariel also), but thanks God u gave me place to stay.. u really taught me lot of things and somehow, i thank u for that..
keep doin what u're dreamin on.. and perhaps someday we finally see ur name reach out to the sky..

Hasta manana ade..
i know that u're younger than me.. but sometimes ure so much mature than me.. i envy ur ability to think so damn logically.. i wish i have that talent a bit.. but thank u for always share that particular talent with me.. i really need it.. =P

Hasta manana adi..
uncle adi.. the victim of my slipper.. hahaha.. thanks for ur internet connectivity when we were in 3rd floor.. it did help for my love relationship.. =P
and thanks for the promise.. "janji pizza adi" yes.. i will remember to eat veggie.. *hueks* =P

not forget to mention,
Amdani Chandra, Jocky Marciano, and Ariel Al-Muttaqin...
where ever u are rite now.. whatever u do.. best of luck to u guys..

and i also have my personal things that i left in Malaysia..

Hasta manana purple sky,
u know, somehow when i see u.. i always feel so peaceful.. ur present at 7am.. yes, i will miss that.. "langit unguku pada jam tujuh"

Hasta manana mba2 lada & ibu es kelapa..
sorry, i just cant tell the truth to u all.. things are different now.. but one thing that remain the same.. i do like u all..

Hasta Manana 3rd floor
here, i saw the purple sky for the 1st time.. lot of things happened.. from the sparkling juice until 2 pans successfully burnt by adi.. thank u guys.. for being good housemates...

Hasta Manana conversation with 3 doors
how?? are we ready to start the conversation again?? are we already achieve some of our dreams?? hopefully yes, or maybe if its no.. we're going there and will be arriving soon.. =)

Hasta manana 4th floor
from the bee's tragedy until the surprise party.. laugh, tear, surprise and lot of things we shared.. =)

Hasta manana My Castle
i dont know how u are rite now.. but the memories remain..

well, still got plenty of people, places and memories that i want to share..
but this blog got character limitation i think..
so, allow me to finish this blog rite now..
with lot of thanks to
juba, nisa, nike, ziko, angie, ben, privena, amjad, thanesh, arafat, zulian, and ahmed..


Hasta Manana all..


http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/vitaminc/graduationfriendsforever.html

another train was passing me by..
left me all alone in the station..

but i wont blame it to them..
they have the right to move on..
when i just stood there and wondering..

yes, wondering..

wondering about the old time train..

it makes me questioning all of the things..
it makes me afraid to take new direction..

just thinking, is it right?
is it gonna be good?
is it gonna end again?
then, i waste my time by thinking too much..

maybe i should start to stop thinking about how it might end..
because perhaps, it wont end..

well, i hope another train is coming my way..
im getting tired sitting all alone in this station..
its really getting colder here..

but still, i wont pick up any train..
only the train with similar final destination worth my ride..

and i know, theres price to pay with this decision..

some trains will passing through and maybe make the dust flying to my eyes..
but i will just wipe it away and smile..
because i know, God have a better plan..
and i will find a way back to my destined train..

=)

http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/h/hugh_grant/way_back_into_love.html

flashback aja ke blog2 gw mengenai bromo:

Blog yg pertama, tentang awal mula knp gw mau ke bromo:
http://songsinmylife-butterfly.blogspot.com/2009/11/wonder-by-wonder.html

Blog yg kedua, tentang gimana gw jadiin blog pertama sbg salah satu resolusi 2010 gw:
http://songsinmylife-butterfly.blogspot.com/2009/12/2010s-resolutions.html

So, lets get started..

Gunung, hemh.. kata itu emang ga bikin gw seseneng kl gw denger kata "pantai"..
tapi bayangan yg ada, pasti itu tempat yg tenang untuk jiwa yg lelah..
hahahaha.. *lebay

anyway, selama ini kl denger gunung.. ingatan gw mengarah mostly ke puncak..
apalagi krn ada lagunya "naik2 ke puncak gunung" .. mangkinan bikin gw bersugesti begitu..

but thanks to my mom..
she introduced me to other mountain.. and its called BROMO..


yang terkenal sm sunrise-nya...


Sebetulnya perjalanan ini ga terlalu direncanakan dgn matang..
emang niat, someday ajak pergi mama kesini.. tapi ga nyangka aja, kl niat itu secepat ini dikabulin.. =)

Pas April mama ulang tahun, gw rasa pas juga aja bt gw kasih kado ini..

Semua serba pas.. pas ada waktu (cuti 7 hari), pas mama ga sibuk (cancel meeting2), pas gaji naik (big grin), dan pas dpt arisan (bigger grin) =D

berangkat dari jakarta dgn 1st flight ke malang.. Dan melanjutkan perjalan ke bromo dgn mobil pada jam 12 pagi...
yes, u read it right.. 12am!!
people said it is the best time to go, since we will InsyaAllah arrive Bromo at 3am..

dengan mobil kijang yg ga da AC, gw pun pergi ke bromo..
sampe di bromo, kita lanjutkan petualangan dengan naik hardtop..
man!! i like this car a lot!! mau punya 1 ah ntar... =)

dr tempat transit tadi, kita mulai perjalanan membelah gunung.. walau di pinggir jalan itu jurang & jam br menunjuk pukul 3 pagi, ada 1 rasa yg susah saya hindari!!
*saya mengantuk* jadilah dgn kepercayaan penuh kepada Pak Supir.. saya pun tertidur!! hahahaha.. ibu gw ampe geleng2 ga percaya anaknya bs tidur segampang ini dlm situasi begini.. what can i say? im so sleepy.. =D

sampe2 di penanjakan, kita harus jalan.. Ough!! dgn suhu dingin dan bule2 yg jg cool.. saya pasrah aja pas jalan..
Mama udah mau kalah sebelum berperang krn ngeliat jalannya nanjak.. sampe2 ngeluarin jurus "jalan mundur" biar lebih enteng nanjaknya..
*believe me.. it didnt work*




And here they are.. the sunrise.. and my sun...


setelah foto2 bernarsis diri ria.. saatnya kembali ke bawah gunung.. sebelum itu, kita ngelewatin yg di sebut "lautan pasir" untuk ngeliat "kawah bromo"..

i need to climbed 252 stairs to see this crater!! alone.. my mom said "nope, i wont do it.. i just wait for u here.." dan di saat gw balik dr PP 504 tangga.. ibuku tercinta lg sibuk minum nescafe anget sm ngemil biskuit.. -__-"

tapi habis itu mukanya berubah jadi pucat.. saat dia teringat kita harus balik ke mobil naik kuda.. hahahahaha.. its so funny.. we just picked the wrong horse.. with tiny body like us, we choose the big horses..


Dan begitulah, sehabis memanjat tangga & berkuda & kembali mengendarai hardtop yg sama.. selesailah petualangan kami di Gunung Bromo..

Bersyukur bisa ngeliat salah satu kebesaran Tuhan.. Subhanallah...

Dan bersyukur bisa mewujudkan apa yg Daddy mau.. ajak Mama ke Bromo..

well, anyway...
happy birthday Mom..
hope u like ur present as much as i like to gave it to u..
and yes, u are one of my "Wonder by Wonder"
xoxoxoxo


http://www.lyricsreg.com/lyrics/flipsyde/Angel/

sebetulnya sih simpel aja ide dr blog yg 1 ini..

saat sedang jalan2 bersama teman2, tiba2 ntah knp topik pembicaraan berubah ke arah "pernikahan"

gw yg notabene merasa amat S.I.A.P untuk menikah ngerasa ga khawatir berbicara ttg masalah ini, sampailah di 1 bagian dimana 1 teman menanyakan 1 pertanyaan.

"knp sih elo mau nikah?"

sound simple, dan temen2 gw pun mulai menjawab satu persatu...

Teman 1: karena gw mau menyempurnakan agama.. (gw: wow.. keren bgt jawabannya..)

Teman 2: soalnya gw pengen punya anak banyak... (gw: hahaha... simple tapi kena jawabannya)

Teman 3: karena gw mau mapan, gw beda dari lelaki kebanyakan yg milih untuk kaya dulu baru cari istri. gw malah mau punya istri dulu, biar gw lebih usaha bt jadi mapan.. (gw: wuis.. jauh sekali pemikirannya...)

Teman 4: gw mau tenang! (gw: okeh, malem itu elo berhasil bikin gw 'amaze' sm lo..)

giliran gw: emmm.... 'BLANK!!' akhirnya gw jawab.. gw ga tau knp gw mau nikah, yg gw tau, gw mau nikah.. (gw lg: jawaban macam apa kaya gitu??)

Gw berasa ketampar!!!

selama ini gw berkoar-koar pengen nikah muda dsb...
tapi pas di tanya alasannya kenapa, gw ga bisa ngasih jawaban...

WTF!

akhirnya gw ngehabisin malam itu bt berfikir...

dulu, pas punya pasangan gw tau knp gw mau nikah.. apa masih jawaban itu yg gw rasa skrg??

-------------------------------flash back-------------------------------

dulu pas gw kecil gw jg ga tau knp gw pgn nikah muda..

pas dulu udah punya pasangan..

gw pengen nikah muda krn gw ga mau buang waktu, gw ga tau umur gw atau umur pasangan gw sampe berapa..

gw pengen cepet2 bisa bakti & bahagia-in dia dengan semua cara indah yg halal..

gw pengen bener2 serius tentang percintaan...

gw pengen nikah, di saat gw yakin dia bisa jadi ayah & Imam yg baik bt gw dan anak2 kita nantinya..

gw pengen nikah, di saat gw ngerasa senyuman dia berarti bt gw dan air mata dia terlalu berharga bt netes krn sedih ttg gw...

gw pengen nikah, di saat gw percaya bahwa gw yakin gw bisa ngadepin dunia & seisinya kl ada dia di sisi gw...

its me & u against the world..


tapi itu dulu,
sekarang, gw ga yakin..
apa bener gw berani nikah?

http://www.getalyric.com/mp3/lyrics/songs/glen_fredly-14798/ost_cinta_silver-37090/kisah_romantis-183722/

seperti biasa, review buku lagi..
kali ini, itu judulnya.. "my two lovers" by Safrina Siregar

buat gw sih ok bukunya, walaupun ending-nya gantung..
tapi ada 1 hal yg gw suka bgt di dalam buku ini, puisi yg di halaman awal..

Mulai Hari Ini, Kita Jalan Sendiri-sendiri

Mulai hari ini,
kita jalan sendiri-sendiri.
Hidupmu dan aku biar pisah sampai di sini.

Maaf, waktu untuk mencintaimu telah usai.
Aku telah berusaha menempati satu ruang dalam hatimu.
Dan kali ini aku setuju denganmu.
Kau memang tak pantas untukku.
Kau berubah.
Bukan, mungkin aku yang berubah.
Waktu telah mengubah aku, seperti yang kau bilang... semuanya tak sama lagi.

Maaf, aku menghabiskan waktumu, waktuku, dan waktu kita... menganggap apa yang ada itu berharga.
Menghabiskan waktu kita menyamakan kita kembali.
Nyatanya, semua hanyalah bungkusan kepura-puraan.

Aku sudah lelah. Bukan, bukan aku menyerah dengan cinta aku.
Kuhanya memberi jalan untuk sebuah kepastian... terutama untukku.
Sekarang waktuku... meyakini diriku... tak ada yang salah di aku.
Aku dulu hanya terlalu buta untuk melihat kenyataan ini.

Bila kau bertemuku lagi, lepaskan kepura-puraanmu. Aku benci.
Mulai hari ini, kita jalan sendiri-sendiri.

(Nahria Medina Marzuki - www.yayajanuary.blogspot.com)

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/usher/separated.html

Yup that is his famous nickname..
the name of a man that i love more than any men in this world or hereafter...

sometimes people called him bintoro, bambang, uncle bien, and even peggy
(i always laugh everytime someone called him "peggy"). =D

His real name was
"Bagus Bintoro Bambang Pagianto Soedono Widjanarto"
its a long name indeed
(i need to ask my mom since i also dont remember it, yet)
=P

after all, its maybe because i simply called him "Daddy"

why this blog is about him?? well, today he supposed to be a 57 years old man..

i wanted so bad to meet him directly..
to be able to say "happy birthday Dad"
to be able to give something special that he want..
to be able to hug him so tight and kiss him so gentle...
and to be able to see him smiling back at me..

at least, if i can't see him..
i want to be able to call him, and hear his voice...
or if im running out of credit, i can simply send him sms, and 100% guarantee he will call me back... *no doubt

but thats just what i want...
i know i cant do that anymore, at least not now..
and i accept it, since i know he got more happiness in his "world" now...
and i also know, that he know what i wanted to do...

today, i just met him in his final house on earth...
without any flower to be pour since i was racing with the time..

i just can send him prayer..
hope that God will forgive him, and give him all the good things a moeslem can get in heaven..

yes, today i visited his grave...

God, please send him tons of love from his family and friends.
who miss him so much.
who miss all the laughter and joy he brings.

please God, give him Your warmest hug.

until the time come, i can finally hug him again...

miss u Dad, Love u more.
Happy birthday.

-your daughter-
Adjeng Bintoro

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/r/rod+stewart/have+i+told+you+lately_20117585.html

thats the tittle..

pagi ini, pas ngantor tiba2 iseng baca kompas dan ada artikel parodi tentang cemburu oleh Samuel Mulia..

walaupun kocak bgt.. tapi ada pelajaran yg bisa di ambil ttg cemburu dlm suatu hubungan..

menurut parodi itu.. ada 3 faktor yg bikin kita cemburu..
1. karena udah lama kita ga ada hubungan percintaan.. jadi pas punya, rada posesif gitu kali yaa..
2. karena kita belum percaya sm pasangan kita..
3. karena kita merasa unsecure dengan posisi kita di dlm hubungan itu...

buat gw pribadi, itu masuk akal bgt sih..
mengaca ke diri sendiri, gw rasa gw bisa bilang gw bukan tipe pencemburu...
(bener ga??)

saat gw punya pasangan, either i trust him or i dont. only that 2 options.
kalo gw percaya, ya gw bakal mencoba santai2 aja dia mau kemana sm siapa..
kalo gw ga percaya, ya berati hubungan gw belum terlalu dalam untuk bt gw peduli akan kepercayaan di antara kita..

gw sering bilang dulu ke pasangan gw..
"buat apa aku cemburu karena ada yg suka sm kamu.. lebih baik aku merasa tersanjung karena meskipun ada orang lain yg suka sm kamu, kamu masih tetep milih aku untuk jadi pasangan kamu"

ini bukan gombal sm sekali, tapi emang bener itu yg gw rasain.. di saat mungkin ada yg lain yg tertarik sm dia, tp dia tetep ada di sisi gw dgn semua kekurangan gw...

tapi itu bukan berati gw ga pernah cemburu sm sekali.. gw PERNAH bgt cemburu.. tp emang gw bener2 nyaring perempuan2 mana aja yg "layak" untuk gw cemburuin...
"layak" disini maksudnya, saat gw ngerasa perempuan itu pernah dapet tempat di hatinya, atau malah masih tersimpan di hatinya.. tersembunyi di sudut hatinya.. itu yg pasti bikin gw cemburu.
karena ga lucu jg kl gw cemburu krn dia nge-fans sm artis siapa lahh, atau gw cemburu sm semua perempuan yg deket sm dia (cape bgt kali ya kl gitu)..

dan kalo udah nyaring.. gw bakal bilang sm pasangan gw..
"aku cemburu sm si ini si itu krn ini itu"
jadi dia JELAS tau siapa2 aja yg gw cemburuin dan kenapa gw sampe cemburu...
dgn itu sih gw harap dia lebih bisa 'menjaga hati' saya dr kemungkinan terbakar cemburu...

tapi kl harus di balik posisinya.. mungkin pasangan gw bisa cemburu sm gw..
habisnya, mostly gw bertemen deket sm lelaki.. dan salah 1 sifat gw adalah "perhatian". sering di ingetin
"kamu tuh terlalu perhatian sm orang lain. ntar kalo dia salah nangkep gmn?"
waktu itu gw suka jawab
"ya urusan dia kl salah nangkep, aku cuma perhatian biasa aja kok.. lagian dia tau aku sm kamu"

bukan gw ga peduli kl pasangan gw cemburu, cuma emang ada teman2 lelaki gw yg emang pure kita temenan.. "nakama" kl boleh nyatut dr 1 piece..

mungkin 'lucu' kali ya kl pas awal2 cemburu2 gitu.. tapi when we know each other so well, kan jd rada males juga kl di cemburuin mulu...

karena bt gw, cemburu itu bisa bikin ragu..
and once u have doubt, it wont be easy to gain the higher level of trust..


Queen-Jealousy
http://oldielyrics.com/lyrics/queen/jealousy.html

Hem.. rada2 berat judul blog yg ini..

tapi emang gw lg di buat bertanya2..
mana yg lebih gw pentingin sekarang...

kl dulu, dengan pasti gw akan jawab "cinta"
but now, im not so sure...

benci bgt gw akan kenyataan
"walaupun harta bukan segalanya, tp dia masih tetap utama.."

ada kisah2 di sekitar hidup gw tentang hal ini..
dan itu seringkali berkaitan tentang harta & ego seorang pria...

kisah pertama:
2 orang yg saling mencinta..
di saat sang wanita aga lebih sedikit "berhasil" dr sang pria..
mulai muncul apa yg di sebut gengsi dan minder...
buat gengsi, smpe skrg gw akan selalu bilang
"buang tuh gengsi sama2 sampah"
ntah ya, ga meaning aja gitu jd orang gengsi-an *gw kaya gitu ga ya??
tp kl minder, gw no comment deh.. krn emang wajar bt kita minder, tp kl larinya malah jadi "hiperbola" dlm menceritakan suatu kesuksesan...
di saat itulah, rasa percaya di antara mereka mulai pudar...

kisah kedua:
2 orang yg juga saling mencinta...
tapi krn keadaan, mereka berpisah...
JELAS keadaan disini masuk ke faktor materi...
yg gw bingung, alasan apa yg membuat sang pria tidak yakin kepada kekuatan cintanya hanya krn keterbatasan materi??
because money does not wait and love does??
not in my case!!
kalo gw di posisi ini, i wont wait...
buat apa nunggu pria yg lebih ngutamain materi di banding hati...
but, its only theory..
*berusaha mencerna keadaaan seperti ini & muncul dgn suatu penjelasan..

krn uang ga mau mengerti & cinta penuh dengan pengertian...
itu sih penjelasan yg paling masuk akal bt gw di case ini...

kisah ketiga:
2 orang yg *teteup* juga saling mencinta...
sang wanita sudah lebih dulu "berpenghasilan" di banding sang pria...
dan sang pria sebisa mungkin ga mau "nerima" hasil dr sang wanita...
kalo posisi gitu... di sebutnya ego atau gengsi??

hemh, tapi kl ngaca ke diri sendiri..
dulu, gw memimpikan pernikahan dengan segala macam adat gw sebagai orang jawa...
yang ternyata membutuhkan biaya yang sama sekali ga sedikit...
skrg, gw cuma mikir..
"udahlah, yg penting akad nikah, sah, halal..."
=P
beda bgt kan.. gw semakin realistis...

nikah mahal2 pun, belum ada jaminan ga akan cerai...
cerai pun, uang lagi...
mending nikah simpel aja, dana resepsinya bisa di tabung...

dan gw "tertampar" dengan pemikiran gw sendiri...
DAMN!!!
now, i became that person...
yang mikirin uaaaaaaaaaannnnnnngggggggg terus....

sedih dgn kenyataan ini...

"kenapa cinta & harta ga bisa berjalan bergandengan??"

because now, its all bout the money...

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/meja/allboutthemoney.html

hari ini,
keujanan pas naik ojek..
berteduh di sebuah warung..
dengan dua orang bapak2..

terjadilah sebuah percakapan...
yang bisa di bilang basa-basi tp ga terlalu basi..
krn bagian ini!!!

Bapak1 : mba umur berapa emang?
Saya : udah 24 pa.. (dalam hati *huff* 24!!)

Bapak2 : oh, ini nunggu di jemput pacar??
Saya : (dalam hati *i wish*) ngga pa, di jemput kaka...

Bapak2 : ooo, tapi mba belum berkeluarga kan??
Saya : (dalam hati *gimana berkeluarga, pacar aja gw belom punya!!!*) belom pak..

Bapak2 : BAGUS!!!
saya : hah?? (dalam hati *ni bapak maksudnya nyindir gw apa gmn??!!!*)

Bapak1 : bener tuh.. jangan nikah dulu.. nikah ntar aja kalo udah bosen hidup...
Saya : (dalam hati *are u serious with what u just said??!!*) loh ko gitu pak??
Bapak1 : iya, bebas dulu aja skrg.. nikah tuh ga enak...
Saya : *nelen ludah*
Bapak2 : bener tuh.. paling enak kawin setaun aja.. abis itu mah... (*dgn muka yg ga bisa gw jelasin pake kata2...*)

Bapak1 : dulu, saya bebas mau kerja apa dimana, skrg...
Bapak2 : bener, cari usaha sendiri dulu..
Saya : (*bingung mau komentar apa..* untung kaka gw dtg..) wah, saya udah di jemput pak.. duluan ya...

masuk mobil dengan pikiran2 yg ga juntrung arahnya..
1. apa bapak2 tadi serius sm kata2nya?? "nikah ntar aja kalo udah bosen idup"
2. gw ga mau ntar kalo udah nikah suami gw mikir begitu!!
3. tapi yg paling gw ga mau, kalo sampe gw yg mikir begitu!!

*jd ragu2 pengen nikah cepet*
*membuat saya melupakan sedikit rasa kangen punya pacar*
*menenangkan diri sendiri*
"well, toh gw single skrg.. jalanin aja.. mau single atopun ganda campuran, gw yakin gw tetep happy kok..."

tapi berhubung skrg single, lagu ini deh jadi pengiring gw...
sampai saatnya tiba.. dan kamu ada untuk saya...
=)

http://www.lyric.web.id/oppie-andaresta-single-happy

Hari ini, gw ngerasain hal yg udah gw rasain beberapa kali pas naik busway..
cuma yg hari ini, sumpah bikin gw ga enak ati bgt..
(mungkin saya PMS..)

jadi begini ceritanya,
kebetulan gw sering naik busway dr halte ke 2 setelah terminal
otomatis, lebih sering dpt bangku drpd harus berdiri..
nah, berhubung jarak ke tujuan rada jauh, saya memutuskan untuk mencoba tidur..

kalo busway sepi, misi ini bisa di lakukan dengan cukup mudah..
tapi kalo lagi rame...
hemh, kaki kesenggol sana sini, belom suara2 yg bukan keluar dr mulut atau hp saya yg bikin ga tenang tidur..
dan bikin mata yg sedang tenang terpejam, membuka perlahan..

seperti hari ini..
udah dpt tempat duduk yg enak, udah tidur, dan busway nya rame..
pas buka mata..
ada dua ibu2, yg 1 shes quite modern mom. yg 2 ibu2 juga tapi dengan earphone di telinganya kaya anak muda zaman sekarang yg autis sendiri kl udah ada hp...

gw, sebagai remaja berusia 24 taun..
dilemma..
antara mau kasih bangku, tapi sm yg mana..
krn walaupun mereka masih bergaya masa kini, tapi kl gw boleh lancang nebak umur..
gw rasa yg 1 itu kisaran 50an something tp ga keliatan di penampilannya (just like my mom)
yg 2 sekitar 40an gitu..

dan gw ngerasa ibu yg 1 tuh ngeliatin gw... (pede bener gw..)
ntah bener, atau ntah perasaan gw aja yg udah ga enak ati sendiri krn belum kasih bangku ke mereka..
*mulai nyesel knp td pake acara kebangun segala*

krn kalo udah di situasi kaya gini..
gw ga bisa tidur lagi..
just cant!!
apalagi selalu keinget saat2 gw naik public transportation sm tika dan terpaksa berdiri..
kita selalu bilang "sayang ya laki2 di sini ga ada yg kaya fachri (Ayat2 cinta)"
padahal umur kita masih muda, dan masih punya stamina lebih harusnya..
tapi udah ngomong kaya gitu..
palagi 2 ibu2 ini (terutama ibu 1 krn yg ibu 2 autis sendiri sm earphonenya...)

cuma gw emang beneran ga bisa mutusin harus ngapain..
mungkin bt beberapa orang ga penting bgt situasi ini..
cuma gw emang ga biasa aja bt cuek sm keadaan sekitar..
tapi tadi, gw kaya orang salting bener2 tp ga ngapa2in...

akhirnya halte tujuan gw udah di depan mata...
dan bangku gw di tempati oleh ibu no 2..
rasanya gw tuh pengen ngomong sm ibu no 1...
maaf ya tante, im numb!!
*tapi gw urungkan niat itu drpd dia mikir gw orang yg aneh*

selain cerita hari ini, kasus yg lain jg ada berkaitan tentang bangku..

pernah berhadapan dgn seorang wanita dgn perut yg *maaf* cukup buncit..
sehingga gw berfikir dia lagi hamil..
tapi gw ragu2 antara iya ngga iya ngga..
dan wanita ini kayanya ngeh kl gw rada2 meratiin dia...
akhirnya gw dengan tanpa berfikir lagi, memulai percakapan
gw "mau duduk?" dan dia menjawab "oh, udah mau turun ya?"
gw "ngga.. tapi.. lagi hamil ya??" dia *dengan narik2 kemeja nutupin perut* "ngga kok"
*suasana hening*
akhirnya *suara yg keluar dr mulut gw* "OH"
*suara yg ada di dalam hati gw "DAMN!!! WADEPAK!!!
gila ya!! penghinaan bgt ga sih yg baru gw lakukan?? maaf.. ga bermaksud..."

cerita lainnya,

ada orang tua sambil gendong anaknya..
seperti biasa gw berencana kasih bangku...
cuma krn gw lg sms, gw niatnya,,,
"bentar ya, gw selesein sms dulu baru lo gw kasih bangku"

tapi tiba2 wanita yg duduk di samping gw bilang
"dik, sini aja duduk di tengah2 kita"
wah.. good idea juga tuh menurut gw..
jaid tuh anak kecil bs duduk (dan orang tuanya bisa berdiri tanpa tanggungan) dan gw tetep duduk..
*hem, bisa di praktekkan cara ini nanti*

setelah beberapa lama jalan..
akhirnya ibu tuh anak dpt bangku dan ngajak anaknya bt duduk bareng dia..
and guess what,
the little girl refuse!!!
hahahahaa... sumpah gw kaget bgt...
nih anak beneran bilang "NGGA" sampe ibunya nawarin dia trs and shes keep saying no!!
duhhhh gw mau ketawa ngakak nih..
maksud gw, aneh aja nih bocah ma ibunya sendiri ga mau...
sampe akhirnya babenya yg turun tangan ngajak anak kecil yg terpaksa pindah ini...
dan gw masih pengen ketawa ngakak...
*untung nya gw masih bisa behave & senyum2 doang"

well, the point of this blog is
"yah, jgn terlalu cuek lah sm orang lain.. coba lebih peduli sm keadaan sekitar.. coba bt lebih peka..."

http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/phil+collins/another+day+in+paradise_20108035.html